


No One Was Supposed to Know, Especially Not You

by ilovemiax



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Hank and Gavin are friends, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Misgendering, Periods, Pre-Canon, Suicidal Ideation, Suicide Attempt, femme words for genitalia, no beta we die like men, past abusive relationships, protective!Hank, trans!gavin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-11 02:37:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16467080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovemiax/pseuds/ilovemiax
Summary: Gavin thinks he’s good at hiding until Hank discovers the secret he’s been hiding for years in the most unfortunate of ways.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, so this is a dark story. Enjoy!
> 
> Chapter Warnings: attempted rape/non-con, misgendering, gender dysphoria, implied/referenced child abuse

Gavin scowled at his drink and wished he was drunker. He knew it was a bad idea coming to bar especially when he hadn’t been paid yet. Oh fucking well. He needed this release and sitting at home alone didn’t seem fun. He wanted to relax and get drunk. But most importantly, Gavin wanted a quick fuck to release all his pent up energy. Chasing a drug dealer who ended up throwing himself out the window of a twenty story building was not how he wanted to end his case. He wanted a clean arrest and commendation from Fowler. What he didn’t want was his only lead committing suicide and VICE swooping in to steal his case.

Out of the corner of his eye, Gavin saw a familiar face. His ex-boyfriend, Blaine Matthews. He still looked pretty much the same with his perfect hair and stark green eyes. His muscles still made Gavin drool and they looked bigger than before. He’d really been hitting the gym. Plus, Gavin remembered, his dick was nothing to snivel at. The man was  _ hung.  _

They hadn’t really ended on a terrible note, just a really awkward one. Their relationship had been fun while it lasted but in all truth, Gavin wasn’t so sure about Blaine especially when it came to sex. The man knew Gavin was trans and it didn’t seem to make a difference to him at all. In fact their relationship had been pretty great. Blaine was just into things, sexual things, that Gavin really wasn’t willing to explore.

“Gavin?” Blaine spotted the detective and made a beeline for the seat next to him. “How are you?” Gavin decided that Blaine was way too cheery to see an ex.

Gavin raised his glass, “Hey.”

Blaine ordered a beer. “How have you been?”

Gavin shrugged, “Been better.”

“Tough case?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Can’t,” Gavin grumbled and gave his usual excuse for not wanting to talk about cases, “it’s confidential. I’d get fired.”

“Ah, of course. You were always the one who needed an outlet that wasn’t talking.” Blaine smiled and placed a hand on Gavin’s knee. “But if you ever do want to talk, I’m here.” He removed his hand.

Gavin wasn’t sure why the gesture opened a pit in his stomach so instead of confronting the feeling he downed the rest of his glass. “Fuck talking,” he growled, “let’s fuck.” Gavin ignored the judgmental eyebrow raise from the bartender.

“Fuck yeah-”

“Not in here,” the bartender pointed towards the door, “I’m not cleaning up after you animals.”

Blaine took Gavin by the wrist and lead him out of the bar and they ducked into the alley. By that point, Gavin was too horny to care that he was hooking up with his ex.

Blaine pressed Gavin against a wall and smashed their lips together. It was all tongue and sloppy wet noises as each tried to dominate the kiss. As usual, Blaine ended up dominating and Gavin moaned into the kiss.

Delighted by the sounds, Blaine brought his hands up under Gavin’s shirt and tweaked a soft nipple to hardness. Gavin whined and bucked his hips into Blaine’s crotch feeling his hard dick against his own.

Blaine popped open Gavin’s button and unzipped his jeans. He slipped a hand down the front. Gavin threw his head back and let out a wanton moan as Blaine rubbed his thumb against the detective’s clit. 

“Fuck, baby, you’re so wet,” he groaned and bit Gavin’s neck harder than Gavin liked.

Gavin pushed back against Blaine. Fuck, he was being too rough. He wanted mindless drunken sex not a slap fest. As much as Gavin was into rough sex, he wasn’t in the fucking mood for that; not right now.

Blaine pushed back and slammed Gavin’s back into the wall. He kissed Gavin roughly and threaded his fingers in the detective’s hair. He yanked hard attacking the other’s neck sucking and biting bruises into his skin.

“Fuck,” Gavin grunted, “Don’t-”

“Don’t what?” Blaine ground his crotch into Gavin and made the detective moan with lust. Blaine grinned, “Yeah, that’s what I fucking thought.” He gave another hard yank on Gavin’s hair and resumed biting.

Gavin winced. His neck fucking hurt and he really wasn’t enjoying himself that much anymore. He put his hands on Blaine’s shoulders and pushed hard. “Get off me,” he ordered.

“What?” Blaine withdrew looking annoyed. He didn’t move his body and made no motion to let Gavin go. “What the fuck, Gav?”   
“I said, get off me,” Gavin snapped in irritation. “I’m not fucking feeling it so go.”

“You gotta be fucking kidding me!” Blaine brought his knee up and ground it between Gavin’s legs. “You got me all fucking worked up and you’re not even gonna let me fuck you?”

Gavin ignored the arousal between his legs. Blaine wasn’t giving him a good feeling and he just wanted to go home. At least he could drink in peace there and use his trusty vibrator to get himself off. Disappointing, but at least he wouldn’t be feeling like this.

“You heard what I fucking said,” Gavin shifted to leave, “I’m not fucking into it anymore.”

Blaine laughed bitterly and removed his leg. “Fucking tease.”

“Whatever. Go fuck yourself or find some other hole to stick your dick into.” Gavin shoulder checked Blaine and made a move to leave. Suddenly, he felt a tight grip on his arm and blinding pain in the side of his face. Blaine had slammed him face first into the wall and held his arm behind him and twisted painfully.

“Fucking cocktease,” he hissed and ground his erection into Gavin’s backside, “I’m not letting you get away that easily.”

Gavin felt blood running down the side of his face. “Mother fucker!” He tried to worm his way out of Blaine’s grasp but the bodybuilder simply laughed and twisted Gavin’s arm harder.

With his free hand, Blaine unzipped his pants a whipped out his cock. He made a show of pressing the heated flesh against Gavin’s backside. “Feel that, Gav?” he whispered hotly into the detective’s ear. “Remember how I used to make you scream for more? Well tonight I’m going to make you scream in a new way.”

Gavin broke out in a cold sweat and his heart jumped to his throat. Fucking fuck fuck fuck. He knew that Blaine was big and it had always taken effort to get it in even when he had been stretched first, but this? Having to take it by force? Gavin felt fear lurch into his stomach. There was no way he was going to survive. He was going to bleed out and die with his asshole exe’s dick inside him.

As if sensing his fears, Blaine crooned and licked the shell of Gavin’s ear. “Don’t worry, I’ll finger you first. I remember how much you used to love taking my fingers in that sweet tight cunt.” He let go of his cock and slid a hand down the back of Gavin’s jeans feeling between his legs.

“D-don’t!” Gavin gasped unable to stop himself.

Blaine frowned and bit Gavin’s neck harshly. “Is that how you treat me? Especially after I was kind enough to give you this?” He punctuated his words by sharply thrusting a finger inside.

Gavin choked on air and cried out in pain. Tears flooded to his eyes and his hands clenched trying to find purchase in anything. “Stop,” he begged, “Stop, fuck, stop! Please!” Blaine withdrew his hand and Gavin gasped in relief.

“Ah what the fuck is this?” Blaine shoved his hand in Gavin’s face showing him his blood coated fingers. Gavin felt his breath catch. Blaine hadn’t been rough enough to tear him- they both knew that. It couldn’t be- The tears that had built up in Gavin’s eyes now fell.  _ Fuck.  _ He thought that he would be okay after changing his prescription. “I thought you just fucking wet for me! I don’t want to fuck some cunt on her period!”

_ Her.  _ The pronoun stung harder than Gavin had anticipated. Not since his mother threw him out of the house for cutting his hair and binding his chest.

Blaine grabbed Gavin’s head and bashed it hard into wall. Pain exploded behind his eyes and he went boneless. “Stupid fucking cunt! You should’ve let me fuck you instead of being a goddamn cocktease.” He threw Gavin to ground taking advance of the detective’s dizziness and momentary lapse in reflexes.

Gavin failed to stop Blaine as he yanked off the detective’s jeans and underwear chucking them off into the dark. “Stop,” Gavin pleaded weakly and tried to bat away the hands that forced his legs apart. In one motion he lined his dick up against Gavin’s hole and pushed inside. Gavin’s scream was cut off by a hand clamped over his mouth. He screamed into the hand sobbing openly and thrashing about to try and dislodge the pain between his legs.

Blaine’s strength kept Gavin’s legs painfully spread as he pulled out his phone. Gavin’s eyes went wide in fear as Blaine began recording. He let go of Gavin’s mouth and immediately began to rub Gavin’s clit.

Gavin gasped and sobbed at the arousal that shot through him. He shook his head and threw his hands over his face to muffle his cries of unwanted pleasure. “Stop,” he dared to bed, “please st-AH!” Blaine his that perfect stop within him and Gavin couldn’t stop the moan that escaped his lips.

Rough sex and violence always seemed to get Blaine off but now the man seemed to be glowing. He was getting off on Gavin’s humiliation and pain. Blaine laughed and brought the camera close to his face. “See this face?” he narrated, “this is the face of a fucking whore who will stop at nothing to get some good dick for her pussy.”

Again with  _ her.  _ Gavin sobbed. He fucking hated the way it made him feel. Like he wanted to claw open his body and rip out everything that didn’t belong. After top surgery, Gavin had felt content with his body but now it felt like he was wrong again. He felt like his teenage self who cried in his brother’s arms because his body didn’t match how he felt.

Gavin was brought back into reality by harsh laughing and a wave of pleasure. He moaned unwillingly and felt new hot tears rolling down his face. “P-pleAH-se!” Gavin tried again, “Stop, please stop! Let me go!”

“I’m never letting you go sweetheart. I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll be begging for me to take you back and make a real woman out of you.”

Gavin shook his head, “No, no, no, no, no! Please, don’t! Please stop!”

Blaine stopped recording and leaned over Gavin, “If you fucking say anything about this you’re going to find his video up on every porn site in the world and I’ll even send a personal copy to the DPD. I bet that once all your coworkers see what a slut you are, they’ll be lining up to fuck your pretty pussy.”

“Fuck you!” Gavin managed to bite back, “Let me go, you asshole!”

“Maybe I will once I fill you with my-”

“HEY!” A deep gravelly voice cut through the darkness. The sound of Gavin’s savior. “Get the fuck away from him!”

Blaine was started and he jerked coming inside of Gavin. The detective screamed with the sudden burst of hot cum inside his pussy and the sharp pain as Blaine’s cock mercifully was pulled out. Blaine grabbed his phone and hefted his pants. He bolted out of the alley as fast as he could.

Gavin’s legs were jello and he did his best to scoot himself into a sitting position and wondered who his savior was. OH FUCK.

“Gavin?” Hank’s eyes were wide and he was looking directly between Gavin’s legs. Directly at his lack of standard male genitalia.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin knew his career was ruined. How long would it be before Blaine made good on his promise and told the whole of DPD? How long before his rape was plastered all across the internet for horny perverts to jack off to? His legacy would be his sodomy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi y'all! Did y'all see that I added a chapter? Anyway, enjoy this new and super angsty chapter :)
> 
> Chapter warnings: suicide attempt

Hank stepped forward and Gavin scrambled to his feet doing everything he could to cover himself. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! Gavin’s heart was beating so hard he swore it was the loudest sound in the world. There was no way that no one else was hearing it. He felt the heavy tears in his eyes threatening to spill out. God, this wasn’t fucking happening. The sheer humiliation was burning and Gavin was ready to put his service pistol in his mouth and pull the trigger.

Hank had fucking  _ seen  _ him. He had seen him and now the whole of DPD was going to know. Gavin was finished. He was done for. There was nowhere he could go where fingers wouldn’t be pointed at him. Where people wouldn’t whisper about the things that were wrong with him. Fuck! Gavin was shaking so hard that his nails dug into the palms of his hands and blood welled in the cuts. How could he have been so goddamn stupid?

Hank wasn’t sure what he was more shocked about. The fact that he just walked by a rape or the fact that it was Gavin Reed’s rape that he stopped. All he had been planning to do was pop by Chicken Feed before going home to Sumo. But he’d heard the sounds of someone in distress and stepped in.

The Lieutenant had seen the aftermath of many rape cases in his day but had never really connected with any of the victims. It was just a job thing he supposed. But now, after realizing that it had been Gavin that he saw on his back and begging for that pervert to stop, Hank wanted to vomit.

Gavin and Hank locked eyes for a split second before Hank saw that Gavin had frozen in place. His legs spread and displaying a bloody semen filled vagina. Hank stepped forward ready to call the hospital, or backup if needed. He was shocked by the sudden fear and panic that was so evident on the young detective’s face. He’d never seen Gavin with anything other and a scowl or a smug look that this was entirely new and alarming.

“Hey,” Hank called out to him gently but also a little uncomfortable with the new emotions that Gavin was showing. “It’s just me. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I fucking know that,” Gavin snapped back with less bite than usual. He was trying to hold himself together, pretending as if Hank hadn’t just witnessed his ex fucking him and had seen his pussy. “Just fucking leave. Okay? I’m not a goddamn victim.”

“I never called you one, but from what I just saw-”

“You didn’t fucking see anything!” Gavin yelled. He wanted to disappear from sight and just die.

Hank jabbed his thumb back towards the direction Gavin’s would-be rapist had fled from. “Then what was that?” He cursed himself for the harsh tone and tried to be gentle again.

“Just- nothing. It was nothing!” Gavin’s fingers and trembling as he shimmied behind the dumpster. Fuck, why did Blaine have to throw his pants so far away? He side eyed them hoping that Hank would just turn around and leave. No such fucking luck.

“Look, I’ll turn around and you can get dressed, okay?” Hank spun around keeping an eye out for anyone else that might decide they want to have a quick fuck in the alley. Or in case Blaine decided to show his fucking face again.

Gavin growled softly. He fucking hated how Hank was treating him like a victim. He wasn’t some- he wasn’t- Fuck. Stupid old man couldn’t have left well enough alone could he? He had to go on and be the hero. Deep down, Gavin knew that Hank had done the right thing, he just couldn’t stomach the fact that he was the… fuck, the  _ victim,  _ in this case. 

Gavin felt something drip down his legs and against his better judgement he looked down. Blood and semen. Fuck. He eyed his pants again and tired to take a step forward but found that he couldn’t. He couldn’t even move his fucking legs to walk over to his damn pants like a fucking functional person. No, instead his stupid eyes decided that now was going to be a great time to let the waterworks out.

Hank heard a soft whimper from behind him and he resisted the urge to turn around. God knows that Gavin would rather be caught dead than let anyone, especially Hank, see him cry. The sound was breaking Hank’s heart and he wanted nothing more than to comfort the young detective. Sure, they had their disagreements but he wouldn’t wish this on anyone. 

There was a soft shuffle and then a hard whacking noise followed by the sound of liquid splattering across asphalt. That time, Hank turned his head slightly. What he saw made his heart freeze and stomach churn. Gavin was kneeling on the ground, sobbing, and puking up everything in his stomach.

Gavin felt sick. The adrenaline and alcohol was wearing off. He could feel every bit of pain that he was in and the added sensation of blood running down between his legs made the queasiness worse. He wasn’t even sure how much of it was from his torn flesh and how much of it was mother fucking nature. 

He pitched to his knees as he spilled the contents of his stomach all over the street. He coughed at the acrid taste in his mouth and was unable to stop the choked sob that followed. God fucking damn it, what a night. Why couldn’t he have just gone home to be pathetic by himself? It would’ve been the smart thing to do. But like a dumbass he wanted to lose himself in mindless sex and copious amounts of alcohol.

Suddenly, there was a weight on his back as something was draped over him. Fuck. It was Hank’s coat. It was massive and hung over his shoulders like a blanket. Gavin knew Hank was only trying to be kind but it burned and hurt. He felt pathetic.

“I don’t need your fucking pity!” He snapped through his tears; but did nothing to remove Hank’s jacket. Gavin was shaking too much and didn’t realize how cold he was until he reached up to pull the jacket tighter around him.

Hank didn’t say a word and simply walked over and scooped up Gavin’s ditched clothing. He knelt by Gavin and put a hand on his shoulder squeezing gently. “Come on, kid. The longer you stay out here the more likely it is that someone’s gonna come along and see you. And I know you don’t want that.”

Fuck. Hank was right but Gavin couldn’t find the strength to actually stand. He wished Blaine had just killed him when he had the chance. Or if he had is gun on him- maybe Hank had his? He snuck a quick peek at Hank’s belt revealed that the Lieutenant did in fact have his gun on him. Gavin’s hand twitched. All he had to do was reach out and grab it. Be quick about it and pull the trigger. Faster than Hank’s reflexes.

Hank was concerned when Gavin didn’t respond to anything he was saying. He had half a mind to pick him up and carry him to his car, but that might make him freak out. That was the last thing he needed to happen. “Gavin?” Hank called out tentatively, his hand remaining on the detective’s shoulder. “Can you hear me? I’m taking-” Then, suddenly Gavin’s hand moved in a flash and grabbed at his service pistol. “Holy fuck!”

Hank expected the gun to be pointed at him and for Gavin to warn him to back away and let him go or some shit like that. Instead, time seemed to move in slow motion as the gun was pointed under Gavin’s chin. Hank barely had the time to grab Gavin’s wrist and jerk his hand to the side as the gun went off. The bullet hit the side of the building scaring off a few birds. The smell of gunpowder cut through the air and Hank wrestled the gun out of Gavin’s hand and chucked it as far away from the young detective as he could.

“No! Fuck!” Gavin seemed to have lost all his senses. He scrambled to grab the gun but Hank held him tightly and refused to let go.

Gavin couldn’t fucking handle it anymore. How dare Hanks stop him from pulling the trigger. Couldn’t he see that there was nothing left? Gavin knew his career was ruined. How long would it be before Blaine made good on his promise and told the whole of DPD? How long before his rape was plastered all across the internet for horny perverts to jack off to? His legacy would be his sodomy. How long would it be before Hank said something? He’d be laughed out of the station. It was better to die now than suffer the humiliation. Would anyone even go to his funeral? Probably not. He knew Tina might, but definitely not after seeing the video. She would probably spit on his grave and regret all the times that she spent with him. Especially that one night they hooked up. Did she even remember that night?

The detective screamed into Hank’s shoulder hoping that the lieutenant would get frustrated and just leave him. He had no such luck because the stupid fucking bear held him tightly and whispered softly into his hair that he was going to be alright. That was lie. Nothing was going to be alright. It never was. Not for him. The universe hated Gavin Reed and it enjoyed screwing him over at any given opportunity. Hank’s “kindness” wouldn’t last. Nothing ever did. But eventually, Gavin’s energy ran out and he stopped screaming and slumped boneless against Hank’s chest. His breath came in short hiccups after that and he clung to Hank as if the old lieutenant were his last lifeline. In a way, Hank knew that he was.

“I’m going to pick you up and take you home.” It was a statement not a question and Gavin was too exhausted to care anymore. His gun was in his house and the second that Hank dropped him off Gavin was going to put a bullet between his eyes.

“Can you stand?” Hank waited patiently for Gavin to respond. Gavin didn’t even do so much as twitch. “I’m going to carry you to my car.” Again, no response. Hank lifted Gavin like he weighed nothing and gently carried him out of the alley.

Hank was so glad his car was parked a few feet from the bar. He didn’t think that Gavin would be able to handle being carried a few blocks. He was sure that the detective would think that Hank was parading him around for the whole world to see.

It terrified Hank that Gavin had been so quick to grab is pistol. The kid was so ready to end his life right then and there that it opened a chasm in Hank’s gut. In the back of Hank’s mind he couldn’t help but project his fears. What if Gavin had been successful and pulled the trigger? Hank shivered at the thought.

They reached his car and with some success he managed to get the passenger door open and place Gavin inside. Even though the detective was conscious, his limbs were limp, his eyes were blank, and tears steadily dripped down his face. Hank reached into his back seat and pulled the blanket he left there in case Cole (or Sumo) wanted to use it. He did his best to wrap it around Gavin before bucking him in. He shut the door and Gavin slumped his head against the window.

Fuck. Gavin was too cold and he was dissociating. He wasn’t even in pain anymore. It just felt like he was floating. For the briefest second he felt a small weight on his chest as Hank draped a blanket over him. Why the the old man have to be nice to him?

He leaned his head against the window. Hank said something but Gavin didn’t hear. It felt like his ears were stuffed with cotton. Something wet dropped down his face and for a second, Gavin wondered why it was raining inside the car. Fuck. He was crying. Why hadn’t he run out of tears yet? Gavin’s eyes were heavy so he shut them and drifted off into a less than peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell that I love writing the angst? Don't worry the fluff(ish) is coming in the next chapter. But there's also a lot of angst.... definitely there's more angst than fluff though. Let me know what you think! I'm a slut for comments <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hank’s “dad mode” was a little too close to “victim mode” for Gavin’s liking. He chose to do his best to ignore Hank and pretend like he drove himself home and wasn’t planning to put his gun in his mouth the second Hank left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this fic just keeps getting longer. It started off as 3 chapters and now it's 5. What am I doing? Ah well, here's a new angsty chapter. Enjoy!
> 
> Chapter Warnings: suicidal thoughts, brief mention of child abuse, toxic relationships, dub-con(?) in the form of a flashback

The universe hated Gavin Reed and because the universe hated him, instead of slipping into a dreamless nap in Hank’s car, he dreamed of a time he’d long forgotten. Horrible memories that Gavin had thought fondly of now made him sick. In all reality, they were never good memories to begin with. Gavin had just been too infatuated by Blaine to realize how fucked up they were. Even in his dreams, Blaine couldn’t just leave him alone. Gavin wondered why he had loved Blaine to begin with. Looking back their relationship had always been toxic. Gavin blamed himself for all the shitty things that Blaine had done to him ignoring the small voice in the back of his head that assured him that it wasn’t his fault. Since when did his little voice sound like Hank?

Hank was quiet as he watched Gavin sleep. He didn’t realize how little he knew about Gavin until that moment. The most he knew was that Gavin didn’t have a great childhood and was most likely abused. Deductive reasoning based on a case that dealt with child abuse. Gavin had acted out way too much and took the case way too personally for it to be anything else.

Hank glanced at Gavin and couldn’t help the coil of unease that brought out his paternal instincts. Gavin was young and had his whole life/career ahead of him. Granted he wasn’t as young as Cole (fuck, Hank couldn’t even fathom what it would be like if anything happened to his sweet baby boy) but he was young enough for Hank to want to protect him like he was his own. Hank didn’t want to think about what would have happened if he hadn’t stepped in. There were too many possibilities and none of them ended well. And after Gavin’s blatant display of suicidal ideation, there was one definite outcome that Hank was going to make sure never to come to pass.

Silently, Hank thanked God that he had access to the DPD personal files off hours or else he would’ve had to take Gavin back to his house. Not that Hank would have minded, but he figured that Gavin would be more comfortable in his own home than at Hank’s.

As Hank pulled into Gavin’s apartment complex, he took a quick note that he didn’t exactly live in the best part of town. It wasn’t exactly the worst part either, but it was nothing to brag about.

Gavin jerked awake when he felt the car stop. The pain came flooding back, but at least he wasn’t dreaming anymore. When he opened his eyes- thank God he stopped crying- he saw that Hank had parked outside of his apartment complex. He had no idea how Hank knew where he lived. He felt like he should be perturbed, but he was just too exhausted to care.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as he felt a hand press heavy against his shoulder. The hand quickly withdrew and Hank’s voice filled his ears. “Are you good to walk?”

“Phck you, ‘m not some damn victim,” Gavin’s words slurred even though he didn’t want them to. He reached out and lethargically opened the door. It took everything in him not to just topple out when the door swung open.

Gavin was expecting to hear some exasperated sigh from Hank and a bid farewell, but none of that came. Instead, Hank simply got out of the driver seat, shut the door, walked to Gavin and patiently waited for him to exit the car. It was irritating and humiliating to have Hank waiting on him- he wasn’t some fucking child; he wasn’t Cole. Thinking about the lieutenant’s son suddenly brought Hank’s behavior into a new light for Gavin. Of course. That’s why Hank was acting the way he was. He slipped into “dad mode” and couldn’t help it. But irritatingly enough, Hank’s “dad mode” was a little too close to “victim mode” for Gavin’s liking. He chose to do his best to ignore Hank and pretend like he drove himself home and wasn’t planning to put his gun in his mouth the second Hank left.

 

Gavin stared at the offending sign on the elevators wanting to breakdown and cry. Of fucking course the elevators had to be down for maintenance. He couldn’t catch a fucking break could he? Gavin had half a mind to rip the sign off and shred the damn piece of paper. But he didn’t because he knew that if he did, he would breakdown and that was definitely not what he was about to do in front of Hank. At the very least he had to pretend to be okay. If Hank suspected something was up, then he wouldn’t leave. And if he didn’t leave then Gavin couldn’t die.

Gavin steeled himself for the seven flights of stairs he would be forced to climb. He could feel Hank’s eyes boring into him as he winced with the first step. Fuck, this was going to hurt. “Stop fucking staring asshole,” Gavin snapped and forced himself up the next two. God fucking damnit this was going to take fucking forever.

Mercifully, Hank said nothing and silently climbed the stairs with Gavin which took a full twenty minutes. By the time they reached the 7th floor, Gavin was out of breath, his body was screaming at him, and he could feel the insides of his thighs coated thick with blood. It was a small mercy that there wasn’t a blood trail leading all the way to his apartment.

He tried to force his hand to stop shaking as he fished his keys from his pocket and shoved it into the lock. “ _Fuck you Sherlock Holmes”,_ Gavin thought seeing the multitude of small scratches he created from years of shoving the key into the same hole.

He opened the door and slipped himself inside as fast as possible. The familiar smell of his cigarettes was a small comfort but it didn’t distract Gavin from his main objective.

“I’m fine, you can leave,” Gavin grumbled and tried to shut the door on Hank. However, Hank was faster than Gavin and stuck his foot in the door preventing Gavin from shutting it.

“Dammit, move your fucking foot grandpa.”

“Humor me,” Hank simply said and refused to move his foot.

Gavin growled under his breath and was tempted to try and push Hank but in his state he knew that the old man would overpower him. Fuck. He would have to wait a bit longer to die.

“Fine.” Gavin gave in and let go of the door without making a move to open it further. Hank could let himself in.

Hank shut the door behind him and watched Gavin flick on the light switch. His apartment didn’t contain a lot of things. In fact, it was pretty much the bare minimum and looked like Gavin had just moved in rather than having lived there for years. It was a fairly decent apartment with a balcony that had a pretty decent view of the city.

“Don’t fucking touch anything,” Gavin ordered and shuffled off to the bathroom. He needed to get cleaned up and get rid of everything. More importantly, he needed to away from Hank.

As he shut the bathroom door he barely heard Hank say, “What’s there to touch?”

Gavin shut and locked the bathroom door finally glad to be alone. He reached up to shuck his clothing and caught a look at himself in the mirror. Fuck. He didn’t realize how fucked up he looked. His hair was disheveled and half his face was coated in blood. The cut by his hairline bled sluggishly. Bruises and bite marks littered his neck and dipped just below his neckline. He was glad his jeans were dark because he was sure they were soaked in blood.

Gavin turned away from the mirror and shed his clothing dropping them on the floor. He winced with the wet slapping noise they made and small spatter of blood that spray from his jeans. His socks and sneakers were no exception. He shut his eyes not wanting to look down just yet. Instead, he twisted around and saw his back. Black gravel was stuck to his open wounds and had a distinct scraping pattern that he knew he obtained while Blaine was thrusting into him. Those he knew were going to hurt like a bitch when he cleaned them.

Gavin took a deep breath and looked down. Tears rushed to his eyes. His legs were soaked in more blood than he thought was possible for day one. Trickles to white cut through the blood and Gavin felt a pang of nausea knowing that it was Blaine’s seed. Fuck. He came to the very terrifying realization that he’d bled all over Hank’s car. That shit was never going to come out.

Gavin barely made it to the toilet and vomited again. He coughed at the bile in his mouth and clung to the seat as he cried. He needed to get clean. Gavin flushed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Reaching over, he started the shower putting it on the highest settings possible. He knew the dangers of making a shower that hot but he didn’t give a fuck. He needed to scrub away all the filth and make sure he was clean. He sure as fuck wasn’t going to die with that bastards filth inside him.

Gavin didn’t wait for the shower to heat up and stepped in. He shivered with the piercing cold and watched as the water turned pink with his blood. The water took a second to warm up and Gavin felt the heat beginning to ease his aching muscles. He sighed taking a moment to steel himself for the intense and undoubtedly painful cleansing he was about to do.

He grabbed his exfoliating scrub and soap and began to rub away at all the blood. Slow and steadily, the dirt and the grime began to clear way. The open wounds stung but that only encouraged Gavin to scrub harder. He needed to get rid of Blaine and all evidence of what happened to him. Nothing happened to him. He was fine. Totally and incredibly fine.

A sharp wave of pain made Gavin gasp and he doubled over falling to his knees in the shower.

“Gavin?” Hank’s voice flooded into the bathroom.

Fuck. Gavin had forgotten all about him. “Go away!” He shouted, “I’m fucking fine!” Gavin knew his voice made it sound like he wasn’t fine but he hoped that Hank would ignore it and leave him alone anyway. Gavin strained his ears and heard a soft sigh from Hank and the the retreat of footsteps. Good.

Gavin took a deep steadying breath ignoring the pain that blooming on his back as the scorching water assaulted his back. Unfortunately Gavin was looking between his legs and saw his red and raw vagina still leaking semen. He fought back tears and bit back a scream as he forced himself to lean back; finding no strength to properly stand. Water pelted his pussy and he held his breath as he shoved a finger inside himself to try and dig out as much semen as possible. Gavin nearly screamed with a flash of pain but pushed himself through it. He couldn’t bear the thought of having Blaine inside him anymore. Blood and semen squished out of him and drained away.

“ _You like this don’t you, baby?”_ Gavin jolted and yanked his fingers out of himself as Blaine’s voice filtered into his head. Fuck, not now. Gavin didn’t want to be remembering the first time that he and Blaine had sex in the shower.

“ _Yeah,”_ Past Gavin fake moaned and leaned back into Blaine’s fingers. The fingers hadn’t actually felt good. In fact it had hurt and made Gavin’s insides twist with pain. But at the time their relationship was new and Gavin was terrified that if he said something Blaine was going to leave him. “ _Fuck yeah. That feels so good.”_

“ _Shit babe, you’re fucking bleeding. Are you a virgin?”_

_“I’ve never done this before,”_ Gavin remembered saying, “ _You’re my first.”_

_“Fuck that’s so hot.”_

Present Gavin shivered despite the intense heat as he felt the memory of Blaine biting hard into his neck and bruising it for days.

A knock on the bathroom door interrupted the flashback. “WHAT!?” Gavin screeched hoping that it sounded more annoyed than panicky. His heart was hammering in his chest.

He expected Hank to say something along the lines of asking if he was okay but instead it was a simple statement of, “I made coffee.”

Gavin felt cold. His shower didn’t feel so cleansing anymore. He shut off the water and grabbed his towel.

 

Gavin emerged from his the bathroom fully clothes and with a pair of clean underwear. Thankfully, he still had an old box of pads otherwise he wouldn’t have to deal with the horrifying sensation of folded toilet paper between his legs.

He shuffled into the kitchen and found Hank wasn’t there. Thank fuck he left. Gavin made a quick move to the small table by the door where he knew his gun was hidden. He opened the drawer and saw his cigarettes, his lighter, and- where the fuck was his gun?

“Looking for this?”

Gavin spun around and saw Hank standing in the living room and holding his gun. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick PSAs on things that happened in this chapter:   
> 1.) It's not supposed to bleed when you have sex for the first time. If you're bleeding, stop what you're doing and make sure nothing's wrong. Also, it's not supposed to hurt either. Unless it's going up the chocolate chute but even then, like you shouldn't be wanting to die from pain.  
> 2.) Consent is sexy y'all.  
> 3.) I feel the need to mention that Gavin & Blaine don't have a healthy relationship. Like, don't emulate this shit.
> 
> Coming Up in the Next Chapter: Hank's POV
> 
> Last thing: I'm super fucking swamped with work and other things this week so today will be the only update until next week. Sorry!
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's been commenting I love each and every single one of you! Y'all are the ones who keep me going <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Stupid, Gavin, stupid! If you keep this up, Hank’s going to find out what a terrible person you are. You’ll become the laughing stock of the station. Fuck, you’ll be the laughing stock of the whole city.” The dark thoughts kept creeping up until Gavin’s mind was screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I'm back with an update! I am soooooo sorry this took me fucking forever!!!! I hope you enjoy some angst and dad!Hank. <3

The lock on Gavin’s bathroom door seemed obnoxiously loud in the silent apartment. Hank knew he was intruding on Gavin’s space but there was no way in hell he was going to just leave him alone. The lieutenant had a sinking suspicion that if Gavin were to be left alone, he’d be back again the next day but standing in a crime scene. Hank knew in his core that Gavin had become his responsibility- the kid would obviously protest and call him a babysitter if he knew but that was the least of Hank’s concerns.

Hank pared another glance at the bathroom as he heard the shower getting turned on at full blast. Undoubtedly, Gavin would be in there for a long time trying to scrub both dirt and psychological scars. It made Hank’s blood boil to think about the pain that Gavin was going through. And clearly, the pain was great enough to make Gavin make a grab for his-

Right. The gun. That’s what Hank was really going to be looking for. As much as Gavin was trying to hide his true intentions, Hank saw right through them. If Gavin didn’t want him around, that was fine. But he was going to be damned if he was going to leave him here with a loaded gun. (Which reminded Hank that he needed to go back to the alley and collect his firearm before anyone found it.)

Hank thought about the most logical place that a gun would be held. Gavin was a… less than organized person, but it seemed he had all the important things in their places. His coffee machine and bags were out in the open right next to a coffee much that Hank suspected was used more than once and needed to be washed. But after all, with their jobs, when did he have the time to wash dishes? Another glace around and Hank saw Gavin’s detective badge sitting in a plastic disposable bowl on the stand by the door. Bingo. That’s where the gun was going to be. If not, then Hank knew it was going to be in his nightstand like a cliche. Like Hank was the one to talk. He had two guns-

Something tugged at Hank’s gut. Instinctively, he walked to the bathroom and strained his ears. The shower was roaring, but very distinctly, he heard Gavin throwing up. Hank knocked on the door and called out gently, “Gavin?”

“Go away! I’m fucking fine!” Even though Gavin’s tone was similar to the way he screamed at others in the precinct, Hank could very distinctly hear the small waver in his voice.

Hank was met with silence and he suspected that Gavin was trying harder to be quiet so Hank stepped away wanting to give him a little privacy. He ventured into Gavin’s room careful not to disturb anything. Gavin didn’t even have a nightstand. That didn’t stop Hank from doing a thorough search of the bedroom to make sure no weapons were present. He found none and ventured back to the front door. Hank slid open the drawer and was met with the sight of Gavin’s service pistol. He picked it up, expertly unloaded the clip, checked the chamber, and stuffed all the necessary parts in his jean pockets.

Hank had every intention of not leaving Gavin tonight and making sure the young man was okay. Hell, he wanted Gavin to talk to him and not stew in his own pain. That was never a good sign. Gavin was going to want coffee. It wasn’t exactly the most relaxing drink in the world, but at the very least it was warm and comforting. 

The lieutenant beelined for the kitchen and found that Gavin’s coffee machine was the same one they had in the precinct. Easily enough to operate. Now for a clean cup. Hank reached up and opened the cabinet to find- nothing. Absolutely nothing. No mugs, places, or dining ware of any kind. Confused, Hank went to the other cabinets and opened them. Nothing. What he did find was an array of plastic takeout boxes plate, and containers that had been washed and various plastic utensils. There’s no way Gavin lived like this. No wonder he had just the one mug. There were faded stains on the inside of the cabinets indicating that there had been plates at some point but, where were they? Hank felt uneasy about it and wanted to ask. But now was not the time to be doing that.

Hank let the coffee bubble and drip while he slipped away into Gavin’s room. Blankets and pillows were going to be necessary if they were going to talk. He knew for sure that Gavin wasn’t going to let him be in his room so the couch was the next best thing. At the very least he could make the couch as comfortable as possible. He gathered up what he could hold, went into the living room, and made sure that the couch was as cozy as possible.

Gavin was being too quiet and Hank felt a bubble of anxiety rise to the surface. He walked up to the door again and gave a gentle rap.

“WHAT!?” Gavin’s voice screeched out and Hank sighed in relief.

“I made coffee,” Hank stated. There was no response from Gavin but Hank knew the detective head heard him so he walked back to the kitchen and collected the steaming mug.

He brought it to the couch and surveyed his set-up. The piled up blankets and pillows should be more than enough to keep Gavin comfortable for a while. Hank frowned wondering if the kid would even be brave enough to open up to him.

He heard the bathroom door creak open followed by Gavin’s footsteps into his bedroom. Hank was glad that Gavin only had one gun in the house. Or, at least he hoped that he did. The lieutenant couldn’t help but strain his ears just in case he heard any sounds that didn’t belong.

He breathed a sigh of relief when all he heard was the sound of Gavin leaving his bedroom. Hank watched as Gavin peeked into the kitchen, no doubt looking for him. He almost said something until he saw Gavin beeline for the side table by the door confirming Hank’s fears. Gavin was still planning on killing himself.

Hank watched Gavin dig through the drawer with something akin to panic. “Looking for this?” He asked and help up the service pistol. He internally cringed with his own stern voice.

“You looked through my fucking drawers?” Gavin was deflecting and he knew it. He hoped that by calling Hank out of his blatant snooping, it would deter the man enough to get pissed off and leave him alone.

Hank was smarter than that. “Yes,” he answered, “because earlier you tired to shoot yourself with my gun. I sure as hell am not going to let you shoot yourself with your own.”

Gavin was stunned into silence. His silence turned into anger. “Why the fuck not!?” He screeched.

The question left Hank horrified and almost speechless. “Because-”

“Don’t you dare say you fucking care about me because you really don’t. You just don’t want to be responsible for me.”

That hurt. “You  _ are  _ my responsibility, Gavin.” Hank did his best to keep his head level. “Not just as you superior, but as a college and friend.”

“Since when were we fucking friends?” Gavin spat back. “Just give me my goddamn gun!”

“No.”

Gavin lunged for Hank who did nothing to stop him. Instead he just grabbed Gavin and held him tightly. The detective screamed and slammed his fists against Hank’s chest until he physically couldn’t anymore and lapsed into angry sobs. All the while, Hank didn’t release his grip and let Gavin cry himself out. Then, very gently, he eased Gavin to the couch and wrapped a blanket around him. He picked up the coffee cup and placed it in the detective’s hand. Mercifully, it was still warm.

Feeling defeated, Gavin simply held the cup in his hands. He liked the warmth and didn’t want to let it go. He felt the couch dip and knew that Hank was here to stay. Fuck. Whatever. If Hank stayed then maybe he would see what a real mess Gavin really was and leave him. He was sure that Hank had already snooped in his entire house and saw what his pathetic existence had come to. For sure, he had seen his lack of dishes. He hoped Hank wouldn’t ask but even if he did what was the point anymore. The only thing he could say was that he was was too lazy to actually buy real dishes but Hank wasn’t going to believe that. So that only left the truth. During a particularly nasty argument, Blaine had punished Gavin by breaking all his dishes. 

“I can start a report-” Hank’s voice cut into the silence.

“I don’t want to press charges.” The words seemed to affect Hank more than it did for Gavin.

“What?” Hank couldn’t help but demand in the nicest voice possible.

“I said,” Gavin repeated as if it were no big deal, “I don’t want to press charges.”

Hank was at a loss and chose his next words carefully. “Gavin, you’re a detective. You understand that what-”

“I know that!” Gavin snapped, “I just- it’s not his fault.”

_ That  _ got Hank’s blood boiling. “Gavin, what are you talking about?”

“I went to that bar looking for a hookup, okay? I said yes to him. It’s not the first time, get it?” Gavin clamped his mouth shut appalled at how he’d just blurted out something like that. He turned away unable to look at Hank. He wasn’t sure what he hated more. The fact that he just told Hank or the fact that Hank was looking at him with an expression Gavin was sure was disgust. The detective braced himself for the slew of insults that were about to come his way. 

But instead- “What do you mean it’s not the first time?”

Gavin shrugged still not looking at Hank, “It’s just my thing okay? After rough cases I go out looking for some rough sex. It’s-”

“I meant your first time with  _ him. _ ”

Oh. “I was with him for five years.” Hank remained silent and Gavin took that as his cue to elaborate. He wasn’t even sure why he was telling Hank. Maybe it just felt good to have someone listen to him. “We broke it off when he took a job in the next county. He wanted me to follow but I never did. Tonight was the first time I’d seen him in three months.” Gavin left out the underlying real reason they’d broken up.

Hank’s voice was tinted with suspicion, “Just that? He moved away?”

Gavin nodded. Fear blossomed in his chest. He hated that Hank was suspicious and it reminded him of the times when random strangers would ask if he was okay after seeing his body littered in bruises. Gavin could brush off strangers, but Hank? Hank wasn’t a stranger and he certainly couldn’t be brushed off. Gavin’s breathing picked up and his chest started growing tight. Hank couldn’t know. Gavin wouldn’t tell him, he wouldn’t let him know what Blaine had done to him.  _ “Stupid, Gavin, stupid! If you keep this up, Hank’s going to find out what a terrible person you are. You’ll become the laughing stock of the station. Fuck, you’ll be the laughing stock of the whole city.”  _ The dark thoughts kept creeping up until Gavin’s mind was screaming.

Hank hated that he was recognizing classic signs of someone who’d been in an abusive relationship. Blaming himself, protecting his abuser... Thinking back, the lieutenant realized that the bruises Gavin hid weren’t from sparring matches at the gym. The stupid thing was that Hank had ignored them in favor of blissful ignorance. After all, who wanted to believe that their college was in an abusive relationship- and a detective no less. Hank scolded himself for not seeing it and for not acting on it. Gavin had been really good at hiding it under his sarcasm, insults, and petty jabs. But even still, Hank knew that he should’ve seen and could’ve stopped-

Gavin was having a panic attack. He was frozen in place with wide eyes and breathing too fast for him to properly be getting oxygen.

Hank took the coffee from Gavin and placed it on the table. He reached out and rubbed Gavin’s back soothingly. “Kid breath with me, alright? You’re safe with me. Breath. In. Out. In. Out.”

Gavin wasn’t listening. Hank’s voice was too far away and it felt like he was drowning. All he could hear were Blaine’s mocking words from their five years together and the feeling of his hands all over him. Grabbing, hitting, hurting. He needed to get out. Everything was suffocating. He felt someone touching him, but not in the way that Blaine touched him. This touch was heavier and repetitive. Soothing. Gavin focused all his attention that that one soothing touch. That motion that seemed to ease his anxiety away. Then, finally-

“You’re safe with me, I promise.”

The words felt thick in Gavin’s mouth as he forced out words he didn’t really want to say. “Just go away, Hank. Leave me alone.” He realized that he didn’t want Hank to go. He wanted the lieutenant to stay and protect him. Gavin knew it was selfish but-

“It’s not selfish.”

**_F U C K, he’s said it aloud._ **

“I won’t leave you,” Hank promised. “I’ll be here. I’ll protect you. I promise he won’t ever come near you again.”

Gavin couldn’t stop the sudden wave of emotion that flooded out. Why did Hank have to sound so sincere? Why did he have that look on his face that made Gavin feel like he was one of the most important people in his life? Why couldn’t Blaine have looked at him that way? Suddenly, he was screaming and crying and spilling out all his insecurities to Hank.

“I hate him!” Gavin blubbered, “I hate him, I hate him, I hate him, I hate him!”

Hank’s hand on his back never faltered. “It’s okay to let it out, son.”

Gavin broke. He sobbed because he didn’t ask for any of this. He pushed Hank away because he was afraid of everything. He was afraid that Hank was playing some cruel prank but the man stayed. He stayed because he cared.

“FUCK!” Gavin screamed and the tears wouldn’t stop. “I fucking hate him, Hank! I hate him for what he did to me! I loved him and he never loved me back! I was so fucking stupid because I wanted him to love me but all he ever saw was that I wasn’t a complete man!” The rest of Gavin’s words were to jumbled up and incoherent but Hank got the gist of it from smaller words he was able to make out. “... started hitting… crying… so much blood… stupid fucking- don’t have the right parts!”

Hank pulled Gavin close and wrapped both arms around him. “You’re not incomplete,” He assured Gavin. “You don’t need a dick to be a real man. What’s between your legs doesn’t matter. You are who you are and you’re perfect no matter what. Even if you do decided to change the part between your legs, you’re still Gavin Reed. You’re still you and that’s the most important part.”

Gavin heard Hank’s words and there was something inside him that exploded. No one had ever said those words to him before. Never. Not Elijah, not Tina. Sure they didn’t care about his lack of a dick but they’ve never said what Hank had said. Gavin couldn’t help himself and finally reciprocated Hank’s hug. Maybe, with Hank’s help, he would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up in the next & final chapter: DAD!Hank serving some good ol' justice


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter how hard he tried to ignore what really happened to him, Gavin couldn’t get it out of his head. He couldn’t help but feel like everyone was staring at him and whispering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday (or whatever day it happens to be while you're reading this)! I actually managed to squeeze out another chapter this week which was supposed to be the last buttttttttttt hahahahahahaha NOPE
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS: rape/non-con, misgendering, demeaning words
> 
> Enjoy!

Gavin was not okay. At all. He was good a pretending though. He went to work ignoring Hank’s insistence on taking a sick leave. But Gavin couldn’t bare to be in his house alone. He needed to be doing something. He needed to be at work and focus on a case. Anything to keep his mind off things. Gavin didn’t even know why he promised Hank he wasn’t going to off himself but he did. And now that he did, something inside him tugged at him every time he had a thought that was in the faint distinction of self-destructive behavior. He didn’t stop smoking or drinking, but every time he thought about jumping from his balcony or putting his gun in his mouth, Hank’s face popped into his brain. And Gavin didn’t want his last thoughts to be about Hank.

At work, Gavin boasted about his injuries claiming he got into a bar fight, the pain wouldn’t go away. No matter how hard he tried to ignore what really happened to him, Gavin couldn’t get it out of his head. He couldn’t help but feel like everyone was staring at him and whispering. They didn’t know anything. He knew they didn’t, but-but-

“Hey, kid.”

Gavin looked at Hank with a scowl. “What do you want?” He snipped.

Hank ignored Gavin’s attitude, “This food truck just opened here. Chicken Feed.”

The invitation was implied. Normally, Gavin would rather be caught dead than go to lunch with Hank. But he couldn’t take the “looks” and “whispers” anymore. He grit his teeth and gave a sharp nod, “Yeah, okay.”

 

Chicken Feed was fucking awful. The food was too greasy and Gavin didn’t like the very blatant health code violations. “I thought you said this fuckin’ place was new.”

Hank shrugged, “I said it just opened here.”

“Which implies that it’s not this dumpy truck.”

“This dumpy truck had the best burgers,” Hank responded back without a second thought. He bit into his burger.

“Whatever,” Gavin shoved a floppy fry into his mouth. Okay, so maybe he liked it a little. It wasn’t the healthiest but it fell into the category of feel good food. The ate in silence for awhile and it was nice.

Hank kept and eye on Gavin as the young detective ate. It was just about the calmest he’d seen him in a while. It had been almost a week and Hank was having a hard time focusing on his caseload. Instead, he found himself looking out for Gavin. The detective was acting worse than usual and now Hank knew why. It got to the point where other officers were getting fearful, avoiding Gavin, and whispering behind his back. All things that Hank knew were going to build up and Gavin wasn’t going to handle it well. He had to do something and so he he did.

Inviting the kid to lunch had been a great idea. It got Gavin out of the office, calmed down the officers who were too freaked out to even walk by Reed’s desk, and it filled Hank’s belly.

“How are you doing?”

Gavin froze and felt the grease in his stomach starting to churn. “Fine,” he mumbled, “I’m fine.” Fuck, his hands were starting to shake. Gavin clenched his fists and hoped that Hank didn’t notice. Except the old man did. Fucking of course he did.

Hank frowned and put his food down. “It’s okay to not be okay.”

Gavin looked down forcing the lump in this throat to go away. Fuck, he felt so weak and he fucking hated it. “Then why does it feel like it’s not?” The unspoken  _ why can’t I just be okay  _ hung in the air. Gavin didn’t wait for an answer and walked away climbed into an automated taxi. Hank had to fucking do something. He watched the taxi take Gavin back towards the DPD. His lunch turned sour in his mouth and he swept the rest of his lunch in the trash can.

 

“Go home, Hank,” Fowler ordered as he passed by the lieutenant’s desk. “It’s fucking late and you’ve got a kid at home.”

Hank ignored him, “Cole’s at his mom’s house tonight.”

Fowler sighed, “So you’re avoiding talking to Helena?”

“No. Fine, maybe. But I’ve got-” Hank waved his hand in a vague circular motion, “-things that I need to take care of.”

Fowler looked over Hank’s shoulder and raised an eyebrow at the file he had pulled up. “Blaine Matthews? Who the hell is that?”

Hank exited the screen as fast as he could. “Nothing. No one. Ignore it. Go home Jeffery.”

“Are you working someone else’s case?”

Hank growled, “No. Think of it as a…. personal investigation into a pervert who needs to be behind bars.”

“What’s the report say?”

There was a long pause from Hank and then, “There’s no official report.”

“For fucks’ sake Hank! You can’t go after innocent-”

“He’s not innocent! I saw the fucking attack with my own two eyes!” Hank groaned when he realized what he’d just said.

The captain’s face turned grim. “There was an attack?” Fowler asked although it was more of a statement than a question.

Hank rubbed his face hard and then, “Yeah. Last weekend.” Fowler was clearly waiting for Hank to elaborate Hank offered no more information not wanting to involve Gavin. The kid barely trusted him as it was and Hank wasn’t about to betray that. For all Hank knew, he was the one person standing between Gavin and a gun.

“I can’t tell you more than that,” Hank finally sighed when Jeffery continued to wait.

“It’s someone we both know, isn’t it?” Well, Fowler hadn’t become captain for no damn reason. Before Hank, he was top shit in the DPD.

Hank watched as Fowler grabbed the rolling char from the empty desk across from Hank. He sat down and gestured for Hank to open the file again. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like? Helping.”

“Avoiding the wife are we?”

“Just accept the help, asshole. I won’t ask questions about the victims’ identity but I sure as hell am not going to let you do this alone. What if you need backup? Think of that, dumbass?”

“Fuck you,” Hank smirked and pulled up the file on Blaine. “I’m trying to find any angle I can get him on. Outstanding warrants, tax evasion, anything.”

Fowler scanned the file with a frown. “Why not go after him for the assault?”

“The…” Hank hesitated before finally sighing on the word, “victim doesn’t want to press charges.” There was a raised eyebrow from Jeffrey. “It was a long term abusive relationship and there’s still some lingering… feelings.”

There was a soft grumble from Fowler. “Fuckin’ hate abuse cases.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Fowler sighed, “Where did this assault happen? We’ll go back, see if we can find the fucker and maybe get him to fess up.”

 

“Jimmy,” Hank called the second he and Fowler entered the bar. 

The bartender turned and grinned at the lieutenant. “What’s up Hank?”

Hank and Fowler walked to the bar. “We’re looking for some information. You got anything on Blaine Matthews? The guys was here last weekend.”

“Blaine? You’re talking about Gavin’s ex?” Jimmy shook his head. Fowler’s eyes went as wide as saucer plates which went unnoticed by the bartender. “Haven’t seen him since last weekend. What’s that asshole do this time to get the popo on his back?”

“It’s classified,” Hank grunted his thanks and grabbed Fowler dragging him out of the bar.

“ _ Gavin?”  _ Fowler confronted Hank now, “It’s fucking Gavin?” He rubbed his hand over his face. “Fucking hell, Hank! How did I not see it? Fuck!”

Hank grabbed his arm, “You can’t let him know that you know, Jeff. I already went behind his back to do this.”

Fowler looked Hank in the eye. It seemed there was some kind of understanding because the captain nodded. “Fuck. FUCK! Okay. Goddammit, Hank.”

Hank nodded towards the alley, “Come one. That’s the crime scene.” The pair went into the alley not noticing Blaine’s cold eyes watching them from across the street. The man scowled and ducked away heading towards Gavin’s apartment.

 

_ “I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that.”  _ Lost in the old movie, Gavin mouthed the words as they were said. He was at least trying to show himself some kind of self care. Literally anything to take his mind away from things. Maybe he should get a cat. Or five.

There was a knock on the door that made Gavin jump. Fuck. Who was it? He didn’t order food so-? Gavin’s stomach lurched and he paused the movie shuffling to the door. He took a deep breath and opened it making sure to keep the chain on.

The door slammed open breaking the small chain on Gavin’s door. It hit him smack in the causing blood to rush from his nose. “Little bitch, you fuckin’ squealed!?”

_ What!?  _ “No!” Gavin stumbled backwards in terror as Blaine stormed towards him, “I didn’t say anything! I swear I didn’t!”

“Then why,” Blaine backed Gavin to a wall and grabbed the detective by the hair, “Did I fucking see two cops asking about me in the bar tonight? Huh?”

_ “Two cops? Did he hurt someone else?”  _ Gavin whimpered and tried to get Blaine to loosen his grip on his hair. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, please, I promise!”

“Really?” Blaine tugged hard on Gavin’s har making him yelp. “You didn’t snitch to that old fucker who came to rescue your pathetic ass?”

Gavin’s eyes went wide with a sudden realization. Hank was investigating on his own. Fuck. Blaine saw the realization in Gavin’s eyes and smirked. “Oh, you little cunt. You couldn’t keep your mouth shut could you. What? You wanted to get on your knees and suck his dick? Spread your legs for that withered bastard? Does he know you’re not a real man?”

Gavin froze at the words. No. NO. That wasn’t true. He was a real man. It didn’t matter what was between his legs, right?  _ Right!? _

Hank’s words echoed in Gavin’s head.  _ “You don’t need a dick to be a real man. What’s between your legs doesn’t matter. You are who you are and you’re perfect no matter what.” _

_ “He’s right,” _ Gavin told himself, “ _ Listen to Hank. He’s right. Blaine is wrong. He just wants to hurt you. Listen to Hank. Remember what Hank said. Don’t let Blaine win. You’re a man, Gavin. A real man. Remember what Hank said. You’re Gavin Reed no matter what.” _

Blaine used his free hand and slipped it under Gavin’s shirt feeling where his surgical scars used to be. He leaned close to his ear whispering, “You can get rid of these but-” his hand ventured down under the waistband of his sweats and grabbed between Gavin’s legs, “-this is a whole other story.” Blaine pressed his hand harder against Gavin heat rubbing him with a softness that was so unlike him.

Gavin squeezed his eyes shut and grit his teeth trying to will his body into not responding to the touches. This was wrong. So, so, so very wrong.

“You’re going to fix this,” Blaine whispered continuing to tease Gavin. “You’re going to call that old man and tell him that you wanted this. Just like how you’re wanting this now.”

Gavin shook his head, “I-I don’t want this.”

“Don’t you?” Blaine slipped a finger inside.

The detective held back a cry of pain. He was turned on sure, but he wasn’t nearly wet enough for penetration to be pleasurable. It just burned and killed whatever arousal he was feeling. “No,” Gavin choked out, “It doesn't feel good and I don’t want this.”

That earned him a second finger and a scream tore from his lips. Blaine pumped his fingers in and out of Gavin roughly. Something tore and Gavin could feel blood beginning to run.

“I can make this a whole lot worse sweetheart,” Blaine threatened and gave a particularly harsh thrust. “So fucking fix this or I’m going to fuck you to death then string you up in front the police department for everyone to see what kind of slut you are. Then, I’m going to post all the pictures and videos of you whoring yourself out to me all across the internet.”

“Okay!” Gavin pleased, “I’ll fix it, I promise. I’ll fix it! P-please don’t, I promise I’ll do anything.”

Blaine’s hand slowed down. He removed his fingers from inside Gavin and went back to gently rubbing his clit. Gavin bit back a pleasured moan and Blaine released Gavin’s hair. “Where’s your phone?” He asked.

“P-pocket,” Gavin stuttered trying to keep himself from shaking.

Blaine's free hand went to the the detective’s pocket and fished out his phone. He gave the phone to Gavin. “Put it on speaker and call him.”

Gavin swallowed, pulled up Hank’s contact number, and pressed call. In a few seconds Hank’s gruff voice came through the speaker. “Hello?”

“H-hank,” Gavin didn’t anticipate his voice shaking and it was hard to concentrate with Blaine’s hand touching him. 

“Gavin? Is everything okay?” His voice was laced with concern and it made Gavin’s chest hurt. He didn’t deserve Hank’s kindness but it was also the last shred of hope that he had.

“I-I’m-” Gavin met Blaine’s piercing eyes and felt a shiver of terror run through him. Blaine smirked with victory. 

Gavin couldn’t do this. Knowing he was going to pay for what he was about to do, Gavin took a deep breath and steeled himself for the world of hurt. Gavin yelled out with everything he had, “Hank help me, he’s-”

“You fucking cunt!” 

Gavin barely heard Hank’s panicked shouts over the sudden blast of pain as Blaine decked him right across the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so maybe I lied and there's gonna be another chapter. Which is exactly the same thing I said three chapters ago. *shrugs* Sorry not sorry.
> 
> Coming up next chapter which I promise is actually the last one: Justice motherfucker.
> 
> Also s/o to Delsin for helping inform my dumbass self on trans men <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine’s angry voice filled the car, “Little bitch, couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut, could you? I’ll makes sure you can never open that fucking mouth of yours.” There was a crack and a blood curdling scream that followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter y'all!
> 
> Chapter warnings: rape/non-con, lots of violence

Blood ran in rivers down Gavin’s face and he swore he could feel his eye starting to swell up. Blaine’s fists pummeled the detective’s body trying to beat him into submission. He was hitting Gavin harder than he ever had while they were together. And this time the beating didn’t stop. The detective knew how it felt when Blaine was angry. He would get hit over and over until Blaine got tired and started fucking him instead. Then, when it was over Blaine would make him apologize and everything would be okay again. That’s how it always was.

Gavin knew all the had to do was hold on until Hank arrived. He wasn’t even sure how far away Hank was or how long it would be until then. How far would Blaine get? Would he just keep beating Gavin until Hank showed up or would he fuck him too? Gavin hoped it would just be his fists. He couldn’t bear the idea of Blaine’s hands on him,  _ in  _ him, fucking him. He hoped Hank would arrive soon.

Gavin felt a hand weaving into his hair and tugging hard. His head was lifted up and then smashed into the floor of his apartment. He thought he heard a crack and wondered if it was his skull cracking open of his floor. He would bet money it was his skull.

“Little bitch,” Blaine let go of Gavin’s hair and kicked him hard in the jaw. “Couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut, could you? I’ll makes sure you can never open that fucking mouth of yours.”

Blaine’s foot came down on Gavin’s face and he felt his jaw breaking. Gavin screamed even though the action made the pain worse. Instinctively, he brought his hands up to his face to cover his jaw but Blaine was having none of it. He grabbed Gavin’s broken jaw and flipped him over pinning him down.

Gavin knew what was coming next. He was going to get fucked and then he was going to be killed. He silently hoped he would die or pass out so he wouldn’t have to feel anymore.  _ “Where the fuck is Hank?” _

 

Hank was screaming for Gavin to answer him, say something,  _ anything _ that would assure him that things weren’t spinning out of control. Fowler was driving as fast as he could towards Gavin’s apartment but their ETA was still ten minutes. Hank wasn’t sure if Gavin could hold out that long. He was terrified that Blaine was going to just kill Gavin.

Hank refused to hang up the phone and kept it on speaker listening to every horrible thing that Blaine was doing to Gavin. He could hear the pained yelps, and cries of agony as Blaine beat the detective. Even Fowler was having a hard time listening based on how fast he was driving.

“Gavin,” Hank pleaded through the phone, “If you can hear me, we’re on our way. Alright. Just hang on kid.”

Blaine’s angry voice filled the car, “Little bitch, couldn’t keep your fucking mouth shut, could you? I’ll makes sure you can never open that fucking mouth of yours.” There was a crack and a blood curdling scream that followed.

Hank shut his eyes and turned away from his phone. His fists were shaking with sheer anger. How  _ dare  _ that man hurt Gavin. Hank was going to put a bullet right between his eyes and there was nothing that anyone could do about it.

“P-please,” Gavin’s voice broke and it sounded like he was choking on his own blood, “don’t do this. I’m sorry.”

Hank watched Fowler’s grip on the steering wheel tighten and his face tensed. Fowler was the type to get scary angry. The type that was dangerous and deadly. And Hank knew that if he put a bullet in Blaine, Fowler would look the other way. Good.

 

Gavin’s pants were thrown aside and his legs were forced apart. Endure. That’s all he had to do. Just hang on until Hank arrived. Hank would save him. Right? Doubt suddenly crept into Gavin’s mind. What if Hank didn’t come?

His thoughts were brutally interrupted by the first merciless thrust. All the air left Gavin’s lungs and his mouth opened in a silent scream.

_ “This is it,”  _ Gavin thought miserably,  _ “I’m going to die right here and now.” _ Gavin’s memory flashed back to all the other times when he thought he was going to die at Blaine’s hand. Why hadn’t he spoken up then? Why had he just gone back to work pretending like everything was okay? Why did he boast about his bruises and wear them proudly? Questions flew into his mind as Gavin considered his last moments.

Darkness was flickering in and out of his vision now. Spots of white danced before his eyes and he was starting to float. It was like he wasn’t even attached to his body anymore. He could feel each hit, each thrust, but it didn’t hurt. Like his entire body had gone numb and it was just waiting to die. For his life to be snuffed out.

Blaine was saying something but Gavin couldn’t hear and he was glad that he couldn’t. He knew if he could Gavin would hear the dirty words and disgusting things Blaine was doing to him. He knew he would hear is own cries and pants. His own begging for things to end. For the pain to end.

Gavin couldn’t hear but he felt his mouth forming the words, “Please kill me.”

He saw Blaine’s bloody sadistic grin and his mouth replying, “My fucking pleasure.”

A hand wrapped around Gavin’s throat and pressed down on his carotid cutting off his air.

 

Fowler screeched to a stop in front of Gavin’s apartment and Hank flew out of the car. Jeffery wasn’t far behind and the two men bolted inside frantic to get to Gavin before something happened.

Hank had heard Gavin’s soft plea for death and Blaine’s delighted reply. He willed his body to move faster. To get to Gavin and stop the horrific act of violence being committed. FUCK! Hank had forgotten about the broken elevator.

Hank steeled himself and sprinted up the stairs ignoring his body’s scream at being exerted to its limits. He was too determined to get to Gavin. He needed to save him and kill that son of a bitch so he’d never hurt Gavin again.

He reached the top of the stairs and pulled his gun in the few paces it took for him to reach Gavin’s front door. A quick glance showed that Fowler was just behind him. Without waiting, he kicked down Gavin’s door.

“Get your hands off him!” Hank ordered keeping his gun trained on Blaine. The man ignored Hank and pressed harder on Gavin’s throat.

It was Fowler who fired first and hit Blaine in the shoulder enough for his grip on Gavin to loosen and give the detective some much needed air.

Gavin gasped and shove weakly at Blaine trying to push him off. However, it seemed like the bullet didn’t affect Blaine because his eyes went red with rage and he pushed even harder against Gavin’s throat. Spots returned to Gavin’s vision only faster and the darkness was already starting to take over. He couldn’t hear anything except the sound of his own blood rushing and his heart beating wildly. Then there was a succession of bangs. His throat was free but his lungs were burning and something heavy and wet was crushing his chest.

Hank ran over to Gavin throwing Blaine off the detective. “Gavin,” Hank gasped immediately began checking for any other injuries besides the glaringly obvious ones. “Can you hear me? An ambulance is on it’s way.”

Gavin sobbed and coughed. Everything fucking hurt and he wanted to pass out. He could feel hands on him and he could just barely make out the faint scent of Hank’s god awful cologne. 

“Gavin, can you hear me?” Hank’s voice sounded so far away like he was underwater. The detective opened his mouth to reply but instead of words, blood spilled out. He got his wish and black swam into his vision.

  
  


Gavin thought waking up was going to be peaceful. Instead it was painful and reminded him of how horrifically fragile he was. His body felt heavy but the most pain radiated from his throat and between his legs. His vision became blurry and he felt something wet dripping down his cheeks. Oh fucking hell, he was crying.

“Ah shit, kid, you’re awake.” 

Oh. That was Hank’s voice. Fuck that meant Hank had actually arrived on time. So… where was Blaine? Was he dead? Was he alive somewhere? And if he was did that mean-

“Gavin, it’s okay. You’re okay.”

Why did Hank have to sound like that? So…  _ reassuring _ ? It sounded too much like pity. The idea that Hank pitied him nagged at Gavin but something else told him that it wasn’t.

Gavin couldn’t turn his head without immense pain exploding from his neck but he knew enough that Hank was sitting in the plastic chair next to his bed.

“What fucking happened?” Gavin’s voice was cracked and it felt like sandpaper.

Hank winced and grabbed cup of water and a straw. He brought it to Gavin lips and replied while the detective drank.

“He’s dead,” Hank simply said, “that bastard is dead and he’s not going to hurt you anymore.”

Gavin finished his water and Hank put it down. Gavin took a breath. “What else?”

Hank knew what Gavin was really asking. How much had he seen? “We arrived to see his hand around your throat and-”

“ _ WE?” _ The word struck Gavin, hard. Who was  _ we? _

Hank swallowed and bobbed his head as if he’d done something wrong. “Jeffery.”

FUCK. Gavin couldn’t stop his panic attack. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! Captain Fowler knew. He knew and now Gavin was going to be fired. He was going to be fired because he was weak because he couldn’t defend himself. How was he supposed to be a enforcer of the law if he couldn’t even stop his stupid ex-boyfriend from raping him?

“Gavin, calm down. It’s okay, son.” Hank was doing his best to reassure Gavin. “I didn’t tell him. He found out I was working on your case and he wanted to help. He didn’t ask questions and just trusted me, okay? Fowler doesn’t think any less of you. I promise. You didn’t do anything wrong. None of this is your fault.”

Realistically thinking, Gavin knew that it wasn’t his fault but it didn’t stop the feeling from creeping in and eating away at him. Fuck, maybe he just ought to quit and save himself from the humiliation. If Fowler knew that meant everyone would know. Hank had come for him.  _ Saved  _ him. Which meant he could trust Hank to keep his mouth shut the but the captain?

“No one’s going to know,” Hank’s stupid trusting voice started to quell the doubts and voices inside his head. “Jeffery’s keeping this case under wraps. You’re safe, son.”

_ Son.  _ The word struck a chord within him and he couldn’t stop the swell of  _ something  _ in his chest. Gavin realized he liked it when Hank called him son. It…. made him feel safer. Like he really was safe. And not a broken leftover of a sad pathetic person.

Hank got up and sat in the empty space by Gavin’s side. He reached out and brushed strands of sweat plastered hair away from Gavin’s bruised face. “You’re going to be okay, son.”

Gavin gave into his pain and emotions not wanting to hold anything in anymore. He was too tired for that. “Please don’t leave me,” he whispered.

Hank nodded and held Gavin’s hand. “I won’t. Sleep, I’ll be here when you wake up.”

Gavin let his eyes close and he drifted away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all so much for sticking my my inconsistent updates and the chapters that I kept adding even though I said it was only going to be three. Oops.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who commented and left kudos. I love y'all so much! <3  
> I've got another fic in the works, so be prepared for that!

**Author's Note:**

> So what do you think? This was supposed to be a one-shot butttttt that's not a thing anymore. Also I'm in rare pair hell.
> 
> I love comments and kudos! (Please give me validation, I'm such a hoe for it)


End file.
